Why reluctant mum?

Why call yourself that? Many people asked....

Why not? is my answer.

I love babies.

I love how they smell=Spit and powder

I love how they feel=Soft and cuddly

I love how they sound=gurgles and giggles

They grow to be toddlers.

I love how they waddle and fall down after attempting the first few steps.

I love how slowly form into little people.

I love how amazed they are when discovering lil things like seeing a butterfly, caterpillar, fish. Things that we adults take for granted.

Then I gave birth to Isaac....

With him came the cries, the yells, the poo, nightly feeds and what I hated most was losing sleep.

I was not a happy mummy. I cried when he cried and it was often. I thought I'd be able to sashay my way into the Stepford Wife role but I was SOOO wrong. I hated being at home during the 2 months of my maternity leave. All the books that I read did not prepare me for having a baby. These books talk of the niceties of having a baby and none of the horrors mothers face everyday.

Eventually Isaac got better. He is now turning 3. From a yelling and screaming baby, he has grown into a fine, young toddler. He has none of those tantrums that toddlers are famous for, he is not fussy with food, he is polite, loves to read and most importantly he is so much more matured than lil kids his age.

We are expecting another boy in a couple of weeks. We have decided to name him Ian. While I think I will be more prepared with this baby, I am still apprehensive about the sleep that I am going to lose( As you can tell by now, Sleep is THAT important to me!!) Yes, I will be going through a whole cycle again and I pray that I have more strength to go through with it and less of the murderous thoughts that invade my head when babies cry.

So, one can conclude that I am no Bree from Desperate Housewives. I am more like Lynette when it comes to disciplining kids but at the end of it all, I hope I will have a child/mother relationship similar to that of Susan's.

At the end of a bad day, nothing perks me up faster than coming home face like this. Knowing that in his heart, you are the world to him. The best thing about kids....they unabashedly let their love shine through.

Left Ass cramp!!

Those of you who know me, I am in my 33rd week of pregnancy. I just had my monthly medical check up and doc said that I am growing too fast. Last month alone, I have gained 1kg per week!

This brings me to today's subject....

A couple of nites ago, my left butt cheek decided to pull a muscle. I did not think much of it since it was not that painful. However later that nite as I sat down to make milk for Isaac, my left butt decided to die on me. By that I mean, it hurt like hell and when I tried to stand up, my left leg could not support me! Isaac was looking at me with concern and he ran around the room looking for "ubat"(medicine). He kept asking me if I was Ok. If I was not in so much pain, my heart would have swelled with pride. Anyway-he drank his milk while I sat on the chair wincing in pain.

Hubby walked into the room and Isaac immediately filled him in on the situation. Hubby thought it was nothing until when he tried to make me walk, I fell back into his arms.

Hubby then proceeded to massage my left ass as I lay down on the bed, cringing in pain. My dear son, Isaac came to and held my hand. I was shocked at this little 2-year-old kid's concern. He was sooo, sooo sweet. He did try to reason his way into sleeping on our bed telling his dad that he wants to sleep with mummy...Hah! Nice try! Hubby packed him to his bed on the floor and gave me strict instructions that I am not to move my posterior without his help. With that I went to sleep...of course before going to the toilet TWICE to release myself, much to hubby's annoyance.
I was fine throughout the nite. Even managed to sneak myself to the WC to release myself...well barely...coz when I inched my way back to bed, hubby was staring at me from under the covers. After chiding me, he went back to sleep.
The next day, in the AM I was still feeling a bit sore. By PM, I was as good as new. Hubby seems to think that it's his magic fingers that healed me. I'd like to think it's Counterpain.....

The beginning..

It's weird ...the feeling, knowing that my thoughts, my rants, my feelings will be published on the WWW.
Hubby asked what am I going to write about. I said anything and everything. It will be a place for me to bitch ie. be myself *wink*. He can't argue with that :-P
Better for me to bitch over here than for him to receive the brunt of it.

So here goes...my first post.
I will leave it to another day to explain why am I calling myself the reluctant mum. So far, 2 ppl feel that the name makes me seem angry and I can't argue with that. But after reading my explanation, most of you will see the light....

So bye for now. Till I write again-have a good weekend